Dogs truly are our best friends. Who else comes sprinting to the door every time we come home to greet us with sloppy yet adorable kisses? And while they might do some strange things at times, like turning in three full circles before lying down in their bed or trying to catch their own tail, we love them — quirks and all! And they sure do make us laugh! Maybe that’s why there are so many dog jokes out there. We’ve compiled the best of the best here!
Q: Why do dogs make terrible dance partners?
- A: They’ve got 2 left feet!
If dogs could text…
- Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
- A: He was trying to make ends meet
- Q: What did the Dalmation say after he ate his dog biscuits?
- A: “Ahh, that really hit the spots“
Why is it that when you blow on a dog’s face, he gets mad, but that same dog is perfectly fine with his head hanging out the window of a car doing 75 mph on the freeway?!
- Q: What happened to the dog who went to the flea circus?
- A: He stole the show!
- Q: When a dog has a fever, what’s the best thing to feed him?
- A: Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs
- Q: What do dogs do after they complete obedience school?
- A: They get their masters
- Q: Why couldn’t the dog get the apple?
- A: He was barking up the wrong tree!
- Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
- A: Ruff!
Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road?
She was given a ticket for littering!
- Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree?
- A: By their bark!
If dogs could text…
A large number of dogs escaped the SPCA today. Police are looking for leads
Beware of dog?
A woman walks into a shop and sees a cute dog by the counter. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.” The woman pets the dog, who barks and nips her. “Ouch!” she shouts. “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “I did! That’s not my dog!”
“My dog was my soulmate: We both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum.” —Elayne Boosler, comedian
- Q: Are dogs good at science?
- A: Well, Labs are!
- Q: Why do dogs float?
- A: Because they’re good buoys!
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” —Nora Ephron, author
- Q: Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
- A: He knew how to paws for dramatic effect!
For even more laughs, click through the links below!