Already have an account?
Get back to the

Funny Dog Jokes That Will Leave You Howling with Laughter

Get ready to unleash laughter with these clever one-liners, memes, riddles and more!

Dogs truly are our best friends. Who else comes sprinting to the door every time we come home to greet us with sloppy yet adorable kisses? And while they might do some strange things at times, like turning in three full circles before lying down in their bed or trying to catch their own tail, we love them — quirks and all! And they sure do make us laugh! Maybe that’s why there are so many dog jokes out there. We’ve compiled the best of the best here!

For more funny memes, jokes (including our best nurse jokes), cartoons and more, consider subscribing to our print magazine, where we feature funny jokes in every issue!

Q: Why do dogs make terrible dance partners?

  • A: They’ve got 2 left feet!

If dogs could text…

Dog jokes: A text feed shows what would happen if dogs could talk
  • Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
  • A: He was trying to make ends meet
  • Q: What did the Dalmation say after he ate his dog biscuits?
  • A: “Ahh, that really hit the spots
Dog jokes about how dogs have selective hearing

What gives?

Why is it that when you blow on a dog’s face, he gets mad, but that same dog is perfectly fine with his head hanging out the window of a car doing 75 mph on the freeway?!

Dog jokes abut how the toilet is actually just a water bowl
Marty Bucella
  • Q: What happened to the dog who went to the flea circus?
  • A: He stole the show!
A dog jokes about the doggy paddle
  • Q: When a dog has a fever, what’s the best thing to feed him?
  • A: Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs
A husband lays on the ground while his wife and dog sleep in bed (dog jokes)
Daniel Roberts
  • Q: What do dogs do after they complete obedience school?
  • A: They get their masters
Two neighbors discuss dog jokes and how sometimes they are not that scary
Glenn Meyer
  • Q: Why couldn’t the dog get the apple?
  • A: He was barking up the wrong tree!
Dog jokes: how dogs sleep in our beds is crazy
  • Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
  • A: Ruff!
Dog jokes: a dog sits in mud  very dirty
Getty; Fotolia

Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road?

She was given a ticket for littering!

Dog jokes: A dog sleeps in a human bed not a dog bed
  • Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree?
  • A: By their bark!

If dogs could text…

Dog jokes: A text feed shows what would happen if dogs could talk

A large number of dogs escaped the SPCA today. Police are looking for leads

A dog sits in a pink robe eating popcorn like a queen (dog jokes)

Beware of dog?

A woman walks into a shop and sees a cute dog by the counter. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.” The woman pets the dog, who barks and nips her. “Ouch!” she shouts. “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “I did! That’s not my dog!”

Dog jokes about being names after a computer password
Steve Delmonte

“My dog was my soulmate: We both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum.” —Elayne Boosler, comedian

A map shows just how long it takes to take the dog for a walk (dog jokes)
  • Q: Are dogs good at science?
  • A: Well, Labs are!
A bunch of dogs sits on the furniture (dog jokes)
  • Q: Why do dogs float?
  • A: Because they’re good buoys!
Two dogs talk about how hard it is to do dog tricks (dog jokes)

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”  —Nora Ephron, author

A list shows why we need a puppy in our lives (dog jokes)
  • Q: Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
  • A: He knew how to paws for dramatic effect!

For even more laughs, click through the links below!

21 Wine Jokes That Will Make You Laugh So Hard You’ll Have to Pee… Again!

28 Diet Jokes and Cartoons So Funny You’ll Laugh Off the Weight!

Jokes About Cats That Are So Funny They’ll Have *You* On All Fours!

Use left and right arrow keys to navigate between menu items. Use right arrow key to move into submenus. Use escape to exit the menu. Use up and down arrow keys to explore. Use left arrow key to move back to the parent list.