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Your Sleeping Position Says a Lot About Your Relationship


A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re asleep, so it makes sense that the positions you and your partner sleep in say a lot about how you really feel about each other. From spooning to sleeping back-to-back, experts say that our sleep body language is the ultimate way to assess what’s going on in our relationships.

So what does your sleeping style say about you?

The Spoon

the spoon

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Almost one third of couples apparently sleep facing the same direction in the spoon position, which is a very good thing. Experts say this is a sign of a happy relationship.

“Few couples hug or spoon during sleep if they’re sexually frustrated or resentful,” Tracey Cox told the Daily Mail. “The partner who’s not eager for sex is worried any sign of affection will be interpreted as an invitation, [and] the other gets the message any touch is unwelcome, so [they] stop trying.”

Patti Wood, author of Success Signals: A Guide To Reading Body Language, adds: “It’s a very vulnerable position that’s sexual, but says, ‘I trust you.'”

The Loose Spoon

the loose spoon

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This has been dubbed the more mature — and more secure — version of spooning.

Paul Rosenblatt, author of Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing, explains that couples start spooning a few inches apart when the novelty of sharing a bed wears off. Wood adds: “It’s like the big spoon saying, ‘I’ve got your back, you can count on me,’ but it’s not as sexual as spooning closer,” Wood added

All Tangled Up

Only four percent of us sleep tangled up with our partners, which is having your legs and arms entwined.

Cos told the Daily Mail that this position, if continued too long after the honeymoon stage in your relationship, means you’re codependent. “The pose of new lovers smack in the middle of the ‘I can’t believe I’ve found you’ bit. If you’re still doing it years in, however, there’s a hint of Tweedledum [and] Tweedledee codependency.”

Touching Backs

You might assume that sleeping back-to-back is a bad sign, but it’s apparently done by some of the strongest of couples. Why? Because it shows that you’re relaxed and comfortable with one another.

“Ninety-four percent of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68 percent of those that didn’t touch,” Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist of the University of Hertfordshire, told The Telegraph. “The key issue is if you have a couple who used to sleep close together but are now drifting further apart in bed, then that could symptomatic of them growing apart when they are awake.”

Sleeping Apart

sleeping apart

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You might both lie on different sides of the bed, but that isn’t a bad thing at all.

Psychologist Corrine Sweet told the Daily Mail that she calls this “the liberty” and says it shows couples are “connected and secure in themselves,” it also indicates that “both closeness and independence in the relationship.”

Playing Footsie

playing footsie

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According to Wood, a pair of tangled legs shows that the two of you can’t get enough of each other — even when you’re sleeping. “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair. You probably finish each other’s sentences and take care of each other,” she explained.


Wood says that couples who sleep facing one another are unconsciously trying to look each other in the eye throughout the night. “If your partner suddenly starts facing you, there’s a good chance he feels distant and wants to connect, or is hungry for more intimacy — especially if he presses his pelvis against yours.”

The Nuzzle

the nuzzle

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If you sleep with your head on your partner’s chest, or vice versa, it suggests that there is a high level of trust in your relationship, and that your relationship is nurturing and protective.


top to tail

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This is, as you might have guessed, a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

According to Cox, this sleeping position is most common in “post-argument or pre-divorce” couples, who can’t face their problems.

What do you think?

This post was written by Kayleigh Dray. For more, check out our sister site Closer.

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