Ah, Easter — aka the holy grail of holidays for chocoholics. It’s not enough that we spend 364 days of the year secretly pigging out on the sweet stuff; we also get a bonus day where it’s perfectly acceptable to do so in public. To practice for this momentous annual chocolate-eating event, anyone who is a true chocolate fiend will no doubt relate to doing the following regularly:
1. You could spend $13 on chocolate (and even more than that if you didn’t have bills to pay!) and think it’s justified.
2. You find a chocolate bar melted at the bottom of your handbag and hold an impromptu moment of silence for what could have been a delicious snack.
3. But then you just stick it in the fridge to reform and don’t even care that it’s turned white and tastes a bit funky. You’d never throw it out.
4. Every day is a scavenger hunt at your place because you’ve hidden so much chocolate from the kids and hubby, yet you’re constantly forgetting where it all is (until it resurfaces months later by falling on your head when you clean out that cupboard).
5. You buy after-dinner mints but have no plans to eat them after a meal at a dinner party (or share them for that matter).
6. It’s pouring rain, but you have a major craving, so you end up rummaging through the pantry and feel immense joy when you find a rogue packet of hot chocolate. You don’t mind eating the powder straight — despite it making you cough. No shame, no regrets.
6. You crack open a packet of chocolate at work and offer it around, hoping your coworkers will decline.
7. And you secretly harbor rage when a colleague comes over to snag the very last one.
8. You live for the days after Easter because it means all the candy will be on sale and you can stock up your supply without subtle judgement from the cashier.
8. Main meals are often sacrificed as you’re too full from all that pre-dinner chocolate.
9. You buy a family-sized bar of chocolate but then a member of your family takes a piece and you, jokingly, mentally disown them.
10. You’re drifting off to sleep but the thought of chocolate suddenly pops into your head but you have none in the house and so there goes any chance you had at a restful night.
11. Going into a supermarket/chocolate shop/deli/anywhere that sells chocolate and leaving without a bar, even if you don’t feel like it, is something which would never happen. Ever.
12. You hate to think about how much of your money has gone towards chocolate.
13. At parties, you conveniently linger around the snack table so no one hogs all the chocolate; that’s what you’re there for.
14. You find a chocolate shard on your shirt and lick it off, enjoying every moment.
15. You don’t care where your chocolate comes from. Whether it’s from an overpriced chocolatier or the grocery store, it’s all the same to you — yummy!
16. You put yourself on a chocolate ban only to then reward yourself with chocolate for getting through the day without chocolate. Chocoholics’ logic.
17. Your desk drawer at work resembles a vending machine and frequently offers more chocolate options.
18. And, finally: Easter is basically your second birthday and you have zero problems taking a few pieces from your kids’ chocolate loot. After all, you’re helping them stay healthy, right?
This post was written by Amber Manto. For more, check out our sister site Now to Love.