Bride Asks for Money Instead of Gifts, People Have Very Mixed Feelings


A user on Mumsnet, a parenting website in the U.K., let off some steam after she received a wedding invitation requesting cash instead of traditional wedding gifts. The user said that the invitation contained a “tacky poem asking for cash gifts,” and that she was upset for several reasons. First of all, she was an evening-only guest who was not invited to the ceremony. Because she can’t really afford a cash gift she’s also worried about looking “mean.”

She writes: “My alternatives are to give a cheap, but nice gift, or donate to the charity I know is close to the family’s heart.”

It’s an interesting piece of etiquette that applies to most modern couples. If a couple has been living together for years before deciding to tie the knot, it’s unlikely they require the silverware, linens, and other home furnishings that were essential to brides who were leaving home for the first time. Many brides before them received a much-needed bottom drawer or chest filled with items to help make a house a home.

But as charming as this tradition was, maybe a fully furnished home that’s been lovingly decorated by a young couple doesn’t need a variety of bedsheets, fancy cutlery, and special dinner plates. The post itself received a range of responses, with many people saying that asking for cash was unreasonable, especially for evening-only guests. Others, however, felt it was kindest to follow the couple’s request, even if she only gave a small amount. Many thought that a bottle of champagne and a card was more than enough.

We’ve heard of couples asking for money towards a honeymoon or just to boost their savings, but do you have a strong opinion on whether money is an acceptable request?

This post was written by Yours editors. For more, check out our sister site Yours.

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