Admit it, ladies: Motherhood is about as unglamorous as it gets. It’s shocking to think that at one point in your life, you had time to wash and dry your hair, isn’t it? Thanks to your little cherubs, the days of primping are probably over — and if you do have time to slap on a little makeup, it’s probably rushed, half-done, and interrupted by someone yelling “mom!” from outside the bathroom door. And while most of the men in our lives will never understand the struggle, there’s at lease one man who does: news anchor Bob Herzog.
Herzog, who works for WKRC in Cincinnati, has been posting videos on his Facebook page of his daily makeup routine. Unlike those other online makeup tutorials that take two hours and 20 different products to complete, Herzog’s “Wakeup and Makeup” videos are all done in mere minutes — and his commentary throughout them is downright hilarious.
First, he beautifully highlights (pun intended) the absolute necessity of concealer. “This, as I understand, this is called concealer. It is for concealing things, like the ridiculous circles under my eyes,” he says. “I can’t fill in the divots in my forehead — they are far too deep.” See? Even men understand that no concealer, no matter how expensive, can fill in those deep forehead wrinkles we all loathe so much.
But the minute he starts making strange, goofy faces while applying his makeup, I began to relate to Herzog on a personal level. (For me, I always open my mouth when I apply mascara; who knows why?) “I make this face. I don’t know why everyone does this when they put on makeup,” he says. “But you do this face, so I’m doing that face.”
Like many (read: all) men, Herzog feels the need to be validated for his work. “Jen, I’m actually doing a makeup instructional video today!” he exclaims to his coworker. “Isn’t that a great idea?” Next, he starts applying his “foundation” — which is actually a compact powder, but we won’t hold it against him. While he’s blending, one coworker notes his rather vigorous technique.
“You blend so aggressively,” the coworker comments. Herzog agrees that he blends “like he’s angry” at his skin, but we’re with him on that: When you’re in a rush, you need to do what you need to do! “I’m a violent blender,” Herzog says. Then, when he realizes he has less than a minute left before he has to go (story of our lives, right?) and applies just a last touch (OK, a lot) of powder all over his face. “I’ll powder more later because as everyone in this room can attest to, [I] sweat like there’s something glandularly wrong with me.” Seriously? This man just gets us — and we love him for it