Tamsen Fadal Talks Maximizing Midlife by Finding the Upsides of Menopause (EXCLUSIVE)

Always polished while anchoring broadcast news for 30 years, Tamsen Fadal, 54, never thought she would become the voice of a menopause revolution. But that’s what happened when she started riffing candidly on TikTok, sharing her “perfectly imperfect” self—including her menopause symptoms. And people related! 

A natural storyteller, Tamsen saw a chance to tell herself—and the 1 billion women currently in menopause—a new version of the story of aging: one of strength, freedom and joy. So she made a groundbreaking documentary, The (M) Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause and wrote her book How To Menopause, with expert advice on how to tackle 34 common menopause symptoms. As her book is about to be released later this month, Tamsen sat down for an exclusive talk with FIRST magazine (buy your copy here) about the surprising upsides of this wild transition in midlife…

Menopause allows women to embrace their truest selves

“I spent a long time trying to be who everyone expected. It really is this community of women that gives me permission to be who I am,” says Tamsen. That includes being the woman who had to lie down on the cold bathroom tile during a hot flash and also the woman who advocated for herself when doctors dismissed her concerns and only pushed antidepressants. “Menopause is not just about one day—it’s about everything else that comes after.”

Tamsen realized menopause is not the end

“There are some gifts to menopause. I don’t want young girls to be afraid of this time. There is freedom that comes on the other side of it. I look at 60 now, and I’m excited,” says Tamsen. That wasn’t always the case. “I thought menopause was something that happened close to when you died—probably because my mom died at 51 of breast cancer. But women can spend one-third or more of their lives in this phase. We should enjoy it.”

Menopause helps women grow closer to friends

“My mom always said, ‘You need to have girlfriends.’ I didn’t understand. I was like: ‘I don’t need anybody,’” Tamsen admits. “But now it’s come full circle. My friends and I have gotten closer by having real conversations about menopause. Real close. We used to talk about our careers or kids, but now we’re having raw, candid conversations that used to be a whisper or didn’t happen at all.”

Bonus: Tamsen’s circle of friends continues to grow in midlife. She just hosted the “world’s hottest menopause party” online, with 60,000 women watching. Special guests stopped by including Naomi Watts, Jennie Garth and Sherri Shepherd, who are all helping to break the taboo about menopause.

 

Midlife is a time to advocate for your needs

Tamsen found perimenopause and menopause were the perfect times to be unapologetic about her needs. For example, she does what she needs to get a good night’s sleep. “Sleep is a real enemy at this time, so I make sure the room is totally dark and I dress cool even if it’s zero degrees outside. People ask, ‘Are you out of your mind?’ No, I’m in menopause.”

Another example: “I walk around my neighborhood and wear 2-pound wrist bangle weights. I punch out in the front and to the side. New Yorkers probably think I’m crazy.” But Tamsen is committed to supporting her muscles and heart health during midlife. She says walking is “one of my ‘absolute refuse-to-miss-no-matter-how-busy-I-am’ wellness practices.” 

Menopause is about living in the moment, not feeling stuck in the past

“Don’t be afraid to make your own rules or break existing ones,” says Tamsen of midlife fashion. She makes a point to love the body she has today. “I try not to shove myself into something that doesn’t fit anymore. I put comfortable clothes in the front of my closet. Feeling good and relevant right now—not when I’m a size smaller—is important to me.” For a current confidence booster she says, “Every night, I write down something good that happened so I can look back and be like: ‘You’ve got this!’”

“I’m so excited by the celebration of this time in life!” -Tamsen Fadal

New knowledge to know better and do better

Misconceptions of the past don’t need to continue to hold women back, says Tamsen. After interviewing more than 40 menopause experts for her book, she knows, “The more prepared you are for this, the easier it is.” Case in point: Although misleading data from a 1993 study made doctors fearful of treating menopause, she reveals, “I can’t say it often enough: There is a global consensus among experts that hormone therapy is safe and recommended for many women.”

Instead of the secrecy that has shrouded menopause in past generations, Tamsen wants her book to feel like “having a big sister by your side” who has been through it all. She also uses her book to highlight menopausal upsides. “Our brain rewires so that we become better equipped to focus on the positive rather than the negative at midlife.” Enjoying this new freedom, Tamsen says, “I’m so excited by the celebration of this time in life!”