Caution: These St. Patrick’s Day Jokes MIGHT Make You Spit Out Your Guinness!
Don't forget to wear green to avoid a pinch!
Irish or not, who doesn’t love celebrating St. Patrick’s Day? Whether you’re feasting on corned beef and cabbage, knocking back a pint of green beer or looking for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, everybody’s Irish on March 17! And nothing goes better with celebrating than some good old St. Patrick’s Day jokes. We’ve compiled our favorites to keep your spirits high. So sit back, enjoy and Erin go bragh!
For more funny jokes (including our Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh So Hard You’ll Fall Head Over Heels), memes and cartoons, consider subscribing to our print magazine, where we feature funnies in every issue!
Irish jokes
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: Because it was too far to walk!
Q: Why do golfers have a hard time ending their game on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they refuse to leave the green
Q: What do Irish people say when you tell them Bono is your favorite singer?
A: “You too?”
Q: Where can you always find gold?
A: In the dictionary!
Irish drinking jokes
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot!
Q: What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: BOOs
Recipe for Irish stew: Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness stout. Drink all of the stout. Forget about the stew.
Put it on my tab!
Sean O’Flannery, all dressed in green, ran into a posh Dublin bar on St. Patrick’s Day and hurriedly asked the bartender to pour him a dozen shots of their best whiskey. The bartender set up the dozen glasses and started filling them, while Sean quickly began downing the shots one after another.
“What’s the rush, mate?” asked the bartender.
“You’d be rushing to drink and run if you only had what I had,” said Sean as he finished the last shot.
“Why? What do you have?” asked the bartender.
“Just a single dollar bill,” said Sean as he ran out the door.
Conan O’Brien hilariously tours the Guinness Factory
Leprechaun jokes
Q: Why are leprechauns so concerned about global warming?
A: They’re really into green living!
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short!
Q: Why did the leprechaun go outside?
A: To sit on his paddy-o!
Q: How do you hire a leprechaun for a job?
A: Put him on a ladder!
Shamrock jokes
Q: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
A: You might press your luck!
Celebrity St. Patrick’s Day jokes
Side-by-side St. Patrick’s Day jokes
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