Ilona Maher on Body Confidence, Rugby’s Power and Why She Doesn’t Believe in Imposter Syndrome (EXCLUSIVE)
The Olympic rugby star on self-worth and why she’s 'not meant to be a smaller person'
Ilona Maher may be the most popular female rugby player around. Still, the Olympian, who won the bronze medal at the 2024 Paris Games, is more than just an athlete—she’s also earned nearly 5 million Instagram followers thanks to her fierce advocacy for body positivity and self-confidence.
Since the Olympics, Maher has competed on season 33 of Dancing With the Stars, reaching the finale as runner-up, and she’s currently playing rugby with the Bristol Bears in England. On top of all that, she’s also recently partnered with Coppertone as the face of their “Unbeatable Performance” campaign. “In my job, I spend hours out in the sun all day, and I want to prioritize my skin health,” she says. “I’ve been using Coppertone for a while, and if you go back to my rugby locker you’ll see the Sport Spray right there ready for me.”
Read on to see what Maher has to say about the power of rugby, her lack of imposter syndrome and the women who inspire her the most.
First for Women: Many Americans weren’t familiar with rugby before seeing you at the Olympics. What drew you to the sport, and what lessons have you learned from it?
Ilona Maher: Rugby is a really big sport everywhere else in the world—it’s massive in New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, England, Ireland, Scotland—so I think it’s interesting that it never really made its way to America, but all these other places love it. I’m playing in England now, and it’s cool to be in a place that loves rugby so much. Experiencing it here brings you back to the roots.
What’s so special about rugby is that it’s one of the few sports for women where we’re told to not tone it down. You need to be as strong as possible and hit as hard as possible. In a lot of sports, you get a whistle blown if you push too hard or are in someone’s face too much whereas in rugby, you’re encouraged to do as much as you can and be as powerful as possible. Rugby is what’s changed my own confidence in my body, and it’s showed me what a tool it can be and how capable it is, and that it’s not just something to be looked at.
FFW: You recently went viral for saying you haven’t experienced imposter syndrome. What would you say to women who are trying to overcome this issue?
IM: For years, I’ve seen that phrase thrown around and I never understood it. I almost got angry. I’d think, “Why do you assume you don’t deserve to be here? You’re one of the smartest, most capable people. Why are you using that term? Is it because you heard somebody else say it?” It’s like a false sense of humbleness and modesty that women are told to have, and I never understood it. Some of the most brilliant women I know are saying this stuff, and I was like, “What are you talking about?”
For me, I’d been asked about imposter syndrome before in a couple interviews, and to be asked that again, I was like, “No, I don’t have that.” Sometimes you can doubt yourself, but I don’t doubt how far I’ve gotten or why I am where I am. Imposter syndrome makes women feel like they need to not be proud of themselves and not reach for too much because we want to stay humble, but you can also be proud of yourself and how hard you’ve worked.
What’s crazy is a guy will coach his kid’s basketball team when the only experience he has is playing basketball in high school, but a woman could probably play D1 basketball and still feel like she’s not qualified for it. We’re always trying to be the best and making sure that we’re giving our best form. We know the most, and many times we’re overqualified for things. This idea of imposter syndrome—it’s okay to not have it. Some may have it, but I also think we need to be more proud of what we’re doing.
FFW: You’ve also become known for your body positivity advocacy. What has that journey been like for you?
IM: I never set out to be a body positivity activist. It’s like imposter syndrome—I would see these beautiful women, but maybe they don’t have the quintessential figure so they feel insecure and don’t love their bodies. And then I’ve known women who have society’s idea of a perfect body and they still don’t love their bodies and have developed eating disorders because of that. It was crazy for me to realize. Like, “What is happening here? So we all don’t like our bodies?” It’s collective, and I felt like taking the brave step of learning to accept my body and love it.
The big thing for me is accepting that this is my body and understanding that my body is not meant to be skinny. I’m not meant to be a smaller person. Some people are meant to be thinner, and some people are meant to be bigger. I truly believe that. There are just certain ways that our bodies are supposed to be, and it’s not all size zero. We’re meant to be all sorts of different things. I think I’m meant to be 200 pounds. That’s how my build and my bones are.
Understanding that and knowing that our bodies consistently change was a big realization. Pre-Olympics, I was probably the leanest I’ve ever been, and then I did Dancing With the Stars, where I was losing my muscle, and then I went and played 15s rugby which requires me to be stronger but also put on some fat weight. You’re going to be changing your whole life, and I think for me it was important to post about it, because I knew that people would relate to this and feel the same way.
FFW: You’re a source of inspiration for many women. Which women do you draw your inspiration from?
IM: My mom is number one, I went into nursing because of her. I took from both my parents—rugby from my dad and nursing from my mom. She loved her job. She’s somebody who just loves caring for people. If you come to her house she’ll put a plate of food in front of you, and she wants you to feel good and be fed.
I’m inspired by my teammates constantly. A lot of my teammates here in Bristol are doctors, nurses and teachers who work full-time jobs and then go to train in rugby and play one of the toughest sports in the world at 8 p.m., and it’s so inspiring to me that they do that.
FFW: What does it feel like to go to the Olympics?
IM: The Olympics are so cool. It’s where people from all over, even countries that are at war, come together and live in the same village because of sport. It was an amazing experience, and I knew going into it that I wanted to enjoy every moment. I wrote that down in my journal.
With winning a medal, sometimes I don’t believe it’s real. I literally just watched the winning match because I was writing about it and I was like, “I have to make sure.” Even though I knew we won, I was stressed the whole time. Watching it, you get like, “Man, how did I miss that tackle?” or “Oh, I should have done this or that.” I think the athlete mind is always looking for ways to be better, but I really enjoyed watching it and reliving that moment.
FFW: After a long day of rugby, how do you like to unwind?
IM: I like to have a cup of tea and put on some mood music and read or journal or even just play on my phone. I’ve been listening to a lot of Olivia Dean. Her music is upbeat, and it makes me want to find love. And I like lo-fi music, where it’s like a moody guy playing over and over again. I also love saunas and ice baths. I think it’s so fun to let the body relax there. And I’m a big eater. Going out to meals really de-stresses me.
FFW: If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would you say?
IM: I would literally tell her nothing. I don’t want her to see me. I’d wear a mustache and sunglasses and keep my hood up and give her a thumbs-up from across the road and then I’d walk on. Even with the mistakes that she made, she still got me here, so I wouldn’t want to have a butterfly effect. She did so well that I don’t want to change anything.
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